This is not a “Once upon a time” tale. It really happened. A young man ventured out into the world and realized very soon it was necessary for him to make a living or he would be “at the mercy” of those who were much smarter than he was. He joined the journalism circus and learned various skills of the trade, became most adept at ventriloquism: the art of insinuation and innuendo. His name is Washington Post. As the story goes he later learned another skill, hot air balloonist. While out and about in his balloon one lazy afternoon he was carried aloft by winds “with a mind of their own” across a vast desert to a make believe world we know of as Oz: the bubble.
One must understand the lay of the land in Oz to appreciate how Washington Post came to be known as The Wonderful Wizard in the Land of Oz. Only in the bubble was the existence of witches, magicians, even wizards taken for granted. Additionally, there they believed in good witches and bad witches. The good witches ruled the north and south. The bad witches were the threat to his world-wide domination. The rulers of the Swamp of the East and the rulers of XAmerican global citizens of the Left coast freaked him out terribly.
Now when Post showed up so dramatically; brimming over with insinuation, innuendo, and a dwindling supply of hot air carried over from the circus; he knew what he must do in the bubble to make a living. He would become a wizard, a great wizard, a wonderful wizard. The bubble eagerly bought into his bravado and quickly announced him ruler over all the land: including the North, the South, the East and the West, regions already ruled by other leaders. The good witches played along, perhaps thinking, “Is he a good man?” Maybe not. “Is he a good wizard?” Certainly. The evil witches paid him no heed, except to resist his encroachments on their “charmed” domains.
When he arrived in the Land of Oz there was no Emerald City, only lovely green pastures, woods, and lots of resident Quadlings. Some notable Quadlings remain to this day: The New York Times, Slate, The Guardian, National Public Radio, CBS, and CNN. Others, their grandchildren and great grandchildren: Buzzfeed, The Huffington Post, Politico, and MSNBC are more youthful and popular citizens of the bubble today. By far the most popular serious news outlet of young and old alike among Quadlings is Saturday Night Live.
Post set them to building. According to their wizard’s every bidding they built Emerald City to his grandiose specifications. On the day of the city’s grand opening Quadlings of every age stood outside the gate awaiting the moment they could enter. Warned earlier that same morning all who entered could be blinded by the city’s unequaled brilliance, they already knew they were to wear specially made glasses with emerald green lenses. The glasses were to be placed on each subject’s head, locked on so they could not be removed, locked on securely by the Guardian of the Gate, who on his person possessed the only key in the realm that could unlock the green lensed glasses; if, that is, a Quadling or visitor ever wanted to leave the place.
The wide-eyed Quadlings filed through the gate sporting their brand new green lensed glasses. Amazingly they saw everything the same. “Totally brilliant,” they all said. It was as if they were reading identical “talking points” from a single editor’s typewritten manuscript. It didn’t matter the medium or message, the very same words and phrases were heard and seen by all. Like repeated waves drive away the last particles of sand from a rocky shore, pulsating, undulating, not a single contrary thought remained in a Quadling’s brain. Congressmen and Senators all repeated the same. Their serious news anchors, including Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, and Melissa McCarthy; not skipping a beat; piled on.
Even President Trump who later landed Trump Power on the Wicked Washington of the East, DC that is, winning as boon her charmed silver slippers, had no choice but to listen to and read often Washington Post’s incessantly repetitive claims, questions, and suggestions as they were echoed by other serious news outlets large and small. The most challenging recommendation offered the President, that is if he wanted to return to reality again, to cross the vast lonely desert to Kansas, was, “You must first destroy the Wicked Witch of the West, the XAmerican Global Citizen wing of the Democratic Party.” The Wizard knowing it was all but impossible to accomplish laid down the challenge anyway as a means of never having to keep his promise to return the nation to reality.
The tale continues. Long after once upon a time Washington Post with the aid of The Swamp’s Deep State combined ill-got intelligence with a couple minor facts dredged up from a White House meeting between President Trump, Secretary of State Tillerson, National Security Adviser McMaster, and Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov to create the insinuation Trump gave up state secrets and a valued US ally to boot. The next day the New York Times created the insinuation former FBI Director Comey was strong armed by President Trump to abandon the already beaten like a dead horse Flynn, Trump, Putin collusion investigations.
Such is life with Quadlings in the bubble, happily ever after as they put it; having never removed their forever stamped, locked-on, green lensed glasses.
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About The Pundit
This retired window washer now provides instruction on the benefits and perils of time travel through focusing an allegorical lens on the present.